Thursday, 6 October 2011

donkey kong

donkey kong by butterburstudios


Want some fun do you? Well listen to this. Firstly theres the 80's clown beat that sounds like Mr Blobby trying to tackle a particularly hap hazard set of stairs in the west wing of Crinkly Bottom. As he's doing so you can imagine Noel, sitting upon a Deal or No Deal box at the top of staircase, goading him with a stupid, wet sounding melody bashed out on a Fisher Price Keyboard.

Suddenly Noel is transformed into that old man pedophile with a Zimmer frame from Family Guy who whistles in a castrati pitch whilst he talks. In that high, suggestive voice that has developed a slight funk twinge to it, he begins to confess his love for another oversized, pathologically violent, ill tempered and mute character; Donkey Kong.

Unable to conceive that there is now another object of Noel's affections, the song enters into high-pitched hysterics as the now blubbering Mr Blobby, who after years of sick torment from Noel has finally broken, emits in despair a hail storm of pink and yellow tears that washes him off his ill-proportioned feet. We can only hope that Noel in an attempt to console his fat, thimble shaped friend, is killed in a Leny-esq fashion by the might and stupidity of a Blobby Hug.

Next time your playing computer games just think of that little paedo Noel, his head rising slowly from behind the screen, narrating the action of the game in that sleazy, high-pitched whistle. You'll be outside in a flash, never to return. When people finally come to realise that Deal or No Deal is a game of chance and Edmond's career is finally over, they should use this reformed Noel in a campaign to encourage/ scare kids to play out more.

There are plenty more tracks of this nature on the butterburstudios's SoundCloud page so check it out; I have added one of my favourites, a poem about a spider, above.

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